Somewhere Beyond....

2005-09-28T03:47:00.000+08:00

Hard Rock

2005-09-26T20:13:00.000+08:00

Picture It

they say a picture says a thousand words. to me, a picture is worth more than a thousand words, something no words can describe. i like taking photos, but it's an expensive hobby, plus i dun have a camera of my own, so i'd borrow my brother's camera whenever he's not using. it's not a good camera, but it'll do for now.

2005-09-20T00:01:00.000+08:00

Rantings

munching on corn soup with sausages, milk, cheese n egg. saw the recipe on the can, with a few variation of my own. first meal of the day. dun feel hungry that easily lately. i could go on the whole day with jus 2 gulps of milk in my tumz.

dun think i'll be able to get the bike so soon. pay yet to come in, fren still owe me money, cheque from al dente yet to be collected. IC needs to be made (fucking $100 down the drain), bills to be paid (one to be precise, still snowballing), and my money making plan jus got flushed down the pipe when i got a call from them saying i've been selected as a reserve. fuck man...

i hate my dad. he's been so irresponsible to the family, and making my mum so stress. yet my mum still struggles on to support the family. there are times when i'm almost tempted to quit school and work full time to take some load of her shoulders. but i know i must press on, for this is a second chance, last chance... why do people slog so hard jus to make ends meet, while others live off their parents and live life meaninglessly.

life is unfair, fate is cruel. a friend of mine is getting a divorce from her husband. she'd dedicated so much of her life to him, yet got nothing in return. the daughter was separated from her for so long she doesn't recognizes my friend as her mummy. imagine the heartbreak she must've felt... she'd also lost her best friend a week after she was married, and her grandma a month later. she's on bad terms with her own mother(cus the mother had caused some misunderstanding with the in-laws resulting in the couple's separation a year ago), and she hardly had time off from work to cool off. when she ask me if she should leave(this world), i didn't know what to say, because i know how it must be to have nuthing to live for, and whatever i said would have been bullshit and based on the fact that i still have something to live for. well... barely. sometimes, it jus gets so tiring, to get on with life, yet not knowing where you're headed, not knowing what

you're living for... i wish...

2005-09-19T04:24:00.000+08:00

Events

it's been a whole week since i last blogged. tied up te hammock to my bed posts, jus under the pc table, so that when i lie down, i'd be facing the monitor, and i can comfortably sit in it n type. woot... looking foward to the next movie session. my folks had jus came back from a short holiday in melbourne, and i woke up at 3am, helping them to clear away the stuff, although they'd alredy been asleep. been doing alot of house keeping the past 2 days, everything's so neat (well, in comparison to the previous state). i tidied up my room, swept n mopped the floor, washed n folded ALL the clothes (finally!) that i'd accumulated the past few weeks, fixed up the living room pc (the damn internet connection finally worked! had to source around for the wireless card driver, cuz i'd somehow misplaced the shitty little installation cd =/) my parents had bought alot of stuff from aussie, chocs, 2 big bags of some b'fast cereal lookalike stuff, a big bag of roasted peanuts (obviously bought by my dad) and 2 packs of tim tams!!! woohoo!!! and i had bought a tim of bengawan solo mooncakes earlier in the day after work. and 2 pieces of lin yong with 2 yolks each(yummm!!!) and 2 pieces of durian snow skin lin yong! (bigger YUMMM!!!)

worked the closing shift on sat, and morning shift again on sunday, without sleep! man... i was sooo bushed! met this 17-year old girl on saturday evening. she had this smile that literally melted my heart! *sound effect : ahhh....!!! she was there with her twin sister. but i din manage to get her name before she left (the intention of asking her name only came when i found out they were local! then i had this urge to find her, silly huh? haha... am still thinking of her though) then later in the night, after we'd closed the register, this pretty (and somewhat drunk) malay girl came in to browse. she'd wanted to buy this top, but din have any cash(we only did cash payments for late sales) . she didn't appear drunk at first, neither did she smell of liquor, but she got kinda touchy(physically) with me, almost like she was seducing me! haha... not gonna go into the details though, but basically, she left an impression. hope it was her talking though, not johnny walker.

found 2 potential bikes i could buy from singaporebikes forum. am more interested in the second one though. FW plate, spec II, 14k mileage selling for 8.2k. it's in showrrom condition man. already downloaded the vehicle finance form from hitachi. gonna view the bike tom! or later, so to speak. woot!!! haha... and my thermo paper is tom evening! man i'm crazy! but i'm lovin' it! check out my future baby!

2005-09-08T03:26:00.000+08:00

Get A Life

skip school on monday an took an mc, cuz of the stupid ideas module. worked late on sunday night anyway, so i was fine with sleeping-in. spent the rest of the day lazing around, gaming.

woke up late on tues, planning to go for the tutorial only, cuz i had yet to do my electronics presentation. found out they'd already done the presentation session after the lecture, cus it ended early. lucky i was still able to do it, since it was the last week to do it. hung around in the gym abit before the presentation. the guys were putting up the tiles. lucky, cuz i had planned to go to school to climb the previous day. the presentation went pretty smoothly, and i was able to leave like 15 mins after stepping into the classroom. only 3 people came for that lesson, cuz mr wong said it wasn't compulsory, since most of them had done their presentation. went back to the gym, climbed abit. completed almost all the routes i was given, except for that one under the blue pyramid. brown rough jug, dark maroon jug, brown crimper, big yellow, finish purple jug. gonna try it tomorrow with shoes.

sales was bad on tues night. merch hit an all time low of about $880. it was also the last day the new staff came for work. which was pretty ok for all of us, cuz he wasn't really performing. plus i got to keep the incentive. heh... today was much better. hit 2 incentives back to back in the early part of the shift. then another half an hour later. and a $200 one later in the night, from a customer who'd came to browse around earlier and went for dinner first. that customer was from brazil, and we (me n roy) chatted with him for quite awhile. he told us about this 2nd hard rock cafe that was opening in brazil, and i managed to get him to agree to send me one of the opening pins if he were to go for the ceremony. cool huh?

oh yeah, and there was this customer who bought the halloween tee. he was wearing this really cool tee that said "Get a Life. I Have 4" on the front. he turned out to be the service solution manager of nokia for asia pacific. i asked him how much his tee is, and he was like "how much are you willing to offer?". haha... well, in a joking manner. so i offered to trade the halloween tee for his one (well, not the one he's wearing of course. he's like an XXL !!!), and he told me it's worth twice as much! then i said, "how bout i shave the words Nokia on my head?" and he said, "yeah, sure, if you do that, i'll give you the shirt!" haha... i wasn't joking bout the shaving the head thing though, and apparently, he took it pretty seriously too, cuz he said he would work something out with the marketing guy and call me, and gave me his name card. woohoo... after that, i found out he was, well, is, a regular at hard rock, coming 6 out of 7 days a week to eat. woah...

we closed about $1.6k worth of sales for the shift. big relief, cus it was really a big change from the previous day's sales. last day of the $100 incentives. new set of rules next week. sad... managed to hit $60, which isn't too bad, considering i dun work dat many days. roy led the incentives for the week with a total of $105, tho jasmin still held the record of $120 last week. i feel the reality of my bike closing in. was thinking of where to buy a riding jacket the whole day. am thinking of getting that halloween shirt tho, probably gonna get 2 of it.

2005-09-03T21:07:00.000+08:00

Disappointment

disappointed. utterly, absolutely, extremely... what the hell happened today at climaprix? sure, i could blame my flu or that i wasn't used to the new shoe, or whatever excuses i could think of for having performed so badly during the comp. but ultimately, the problem jus lies with me. lack of training, commitment, passion... whatever fire i used to have died when the final whistle sounded for my last route. low self-esteem... yet it doesn't hurt as much as it should... maybe cuz i'm used to it already. almost a quarter of my life gone, yet i've achieved nothing. nothing in the eyes of society. fuck society... not like anyone cares, everyone's got their own issues, right? i felt like running away after the comp, but then again i hate running. frustration. anger. fucking ideas module...

fone was silent the whole day. not unusual... she replied my message last night, yet i didn't reply her then. recieved another message from her awhile ago cuz of my not replying. god i miss her... yet i dun know what to make of my feelings. maybe i've been alone too long. i've forgotten the last time i ever liked anyone. smile, it's jus another day... smile for the world...

"Most of the time the feeling of loneliness and isolation are the biggest problems we have in life. Mild depression is a normal phenomenon. But since our culture bombards us with such high standards of perfection, we tend to feel helpless when we don't measure up. Depression in nature is a healthy process. It pushes us to step back and reflect on what we have done. However, what's unhealthy is the demobilization that occurs with clinical depression. The most-effective approach at that point is a combination of anti-depressants and psychotherapy,"

~song in my head - Save Me (Smallville theme song) by Remy Zero

2005-09-02T23:31:00.000+08:00

Shall We Dance

sebestian made me strip again during yesterday's pre-shift, and i had to sit through the whole 20 minutes half naked beside a female colleague. in between they were like poking my chest like they were buying fruits. As if that wasn't bad enough, fawzey (the gay) came & poked my chest too, thanks to seb's invitation. man... that was such a turn-off. *puke... yesterday was salsa nite at hard rock. think it's a new event they came up with in conjunction with the salsa club. And mannnnn, the salsa babes are totally hot! and some of them came to buy halter necks, and there was no changing room for them to try on, so they had to slip it on to try on the size. mmm mmm....... *nose bleed... salsa looks like fun though. i'd watched the salsa movie by j.Lo and richard gere (i think) at the rock gym before going work yesterday. think i'll try it someday, heh...

fadly was pretty stoned during last night's shift, i think cuz he didn't have enough sleep. when we were closing, he did the counting of the cash in the register. the first few times, he counted about $19 shortage (!!!!). den after that, he counted a shortage of $1, much to our relief. if not we'd have to pay the shortage from our own pockets. so he contributed the dollar to the register, to make the figures tally. and guess what, the accountant counted an excess of $9 when we went to cash-out, and i almost laughed my ass off at fadly! hahaha...

had about 3.5 hours of sleep before going for autocad lesson today. woke up a little late, and i had to rush to school in a cab. well, either way, i had to spend the $10 (on getting an mc if i didn't go), so might as well learn something. went straight home after lesson, collapsed on the bed, and i was knocked out for a good 7 hours before waking up and finding it'd grown dark. went to climbasia to change my pearl for a size 6.5. dun really want to commit the same shitty mistake as eugene of buying half a size too small and trying to find a buyer after that. coco's down with a fever, so she was pretty lethargic when i carried her. poor thing... chatted with chris on the way home, but reception was crap, so i had to hang up after awhile. we were planning to meet up for supper later, but she'd jus told me the car wasn't home, so supper's off. disappointing... not to mention hungry, since i haven't had my dinner. probably gonna cook some mee later. guess i'll catch up with my sleep tonight, since i've been sleeping very little the whole week. work, study, work, study... tiring... at least it's keeping me occupied. i hate doing nuthing on a regular basis. makes me feel like i'm wasting my life away, haha...

2005-09-01T01:26:00.000+08:00

TRG

2 sets norm, 8 sets 3-fingered, weighted. feels good, having missed out so many days. did one last set loaded with 8 kilos, managed 4 pulls before the bar slipped. not too bad. need to climb soon. hatta said i shud climb to work on the techniques. gotta climb... gotta climb... gotta climb... time seems so tight lately...

2005-08-31T22:57:00.000+08:00

Gaining Control

wow, it's been days since i last blogged. so much had happened.

worked at climbasia over the weekend. lucky nuthing cocked up, except the nets paper ran out on sunday, and there was abit of a panic cuz no nets transactions can be made if therewas no paper loaded into the machine. i managed to fool the machine by rolling up some paper n stuffing it inside, though it still couldn't print receipts due to the different type of paper. coco slept most of the days away, waking up occasionally to bite my toes n play. (somehow she always went for my feet, even though eug was in her path) the rest of the cats were pretty much MIA throughout the 2 days, except during the morning and evening feedings. oh yeah, and i got to know stacy, the daughter of the bike repair shop owner next door to climbasia. she was friendly, but mostly i was asking her about buying S4s. she made several calls and worked out a sum for me : $2.5k downpayment, monthly installment of $240/mth for 3 years. seems possible, since now i have the HRC job. and can u believe a 2nd party insurance for bike costs friggin' $980!!! main, dats daylight robbery! freak! but no choice... =/ think i can buy the bike by november. den i'll be free falliinnnnnnn!!!! (haha... jus excited about getting my own wheels!)

went for the staff chalet on monday. met karen n took a bus down, sleeping along the way cuz i'd stayed up the previous night doing the presentation. i think i did pretty ok for the presentation(considering i didn't prepare my speech), although i would have preferred to give a longer presentation than we're required to. we walked from the marine parade blocks to costa sands. the company booked two whole units at the extreme end of the resort. irritating at first, cus it's the far end ffrom where we came from, but i guess it'd be better, since they were gonna blast music later in the night. it was boring at first, but it was cool how there were tables n chairs(from the cafe) and chefs (poor dudes, gotta cook at work, gotta cook at chalet!) preparing the food for us. and man... the booze!!! not that i drink, but it's like a whole cafe! there were like 2 barrels of beer(the bigass type they use in pubs) and cartons of soft drinks, bottles of tequila, whiskey n vodka, red n white wines; wings, gourmet sausages, lamb chops, prawns, beef steakss, corn n sambal fish for the bbq, and curry chicken, bee hoon, fried rice and alot of other stuff! woohoo!!! got to know alot of the service staff, and they were partying the whole nite. i was attacked with the tequila bottle alotta times, but didn't get drunk, jus a little tipsy. enough to make me skip the tuesday morning lectures(hey, at least i had a valid reason! hahaha!) slept abit and went for the afternoon labs. got back my electronics test score, and i got full marks, yippee! went for work straight after class. managed to get about $45 incentives, and jasmin was kind enough to giv me $25, while she took $20. but she had clocked the highest incentive value so far, a cool $120! i think jasmin is a nice person, dunno why fadley always picks on her. oh well... did closing with her n took the transport home, after waiting for about an hour for the service staff. man... really need that bike!

woke up early today to go down to climbasia to return the keys and buy the pearl. ivan was cool enough to give me a shoebag for free, haha... he's damn nice. had to report for work at 12, managed to reach with enough time to buy some old chang kee curry puffs for karen and ivan(my collegue). turns out it was ivan's last day at HRC(he's going back canada to study), as well as his birthday! he was sabo-ed by the service people, but wasn't too bad. had $10 incentive for the day, not too bad, considering it was the day shift. it was alredy 630pm by the time we finished cashing out, so i decided not to go to sp, since i'd alredy missed the mini-comp. wonder who won... most prob eug? haha... shopped a little with karen n went for dinner at whampoa market. had a delicious plate of hokkien mee and teh-ice, den karen bought me a rice dumpling, cuz she was getting some for simon n jasmin. took a bus home, sleeping n chillin to rnb on the ride.

i crossed over to the minimart across the road from my stop, planning to buy tim tams when this partially blind guy asked me if i could help him cross the road. i turned immediately to hold his arm, and helped him across. i'd planned to help him to his house, but he said he was gonna take a bus, so i waited with him to help him flag the bus. the bus came 15 mins after, and i went over to the minimart again after helping him board the bus. felt kinda high from helping the guy, and it feels so much better than jus dropping notes into charity tins. heh... chatted abit with mum when i reached home, now jus catching up with my blog. gonna do my sets (which i haven been doing since sat!!! damn...), shower n revise for the mech test tom. and all i can think of now is my bike!!!!! gonna work on the paintwork design if i got time =D

2005-08-25T23:53:00.000+08:00

Rest

tired, not gonna blog much. went down to allsports to buy shoe, but was closed when we (me and eugene) got there. went back to my place and gave eug a haircut. did some experimenting to cover up a mistake a made. wonder what everyone will say about it? haha... chatted abit with karen on msn, but she doesn't seem chatty. wierd. gonna go sleep and wake up early tom to revise for the autocad test tomorrow (later)

2005-08-25T00:33:00.000+08:00

Overdrive

slept late the previous nite chilling out to a few rounds of gb. woke up early for my first day of work at hard rock, wondering what it will be like. arrived at the place early. fadley came a few moments after and gave me a breif orientation around the place. did some opening settings, while the staff arrived one by one. karen, my supervisor kept saying she was gonna suffer from nose bleed after watching me carry stuff around (was wearing the climb-on tee), haha... she damn funny, and everyone kept poking fun of her and her well-enhanced... chest, especially joyce, a butch supervisor. i soon got into the flow and joined in the teasing, despite being new there. glad i was able to get along with everyone there. oh yeah, and the cool thing about the job is, i got to pick out 2 hard rock tees from the rack for my working attire. picked out this khaki green one and a light blue one with a dragon design. more shirts to wear to school! haha... sales wasn't too good today, cus non of the customers made any purchase of above $100 in a single receipt. disappointing. but spirits were high nontheless. the environment was great, everyone made me feel welcomed into the "family". i feel i'm gonna stick to this job for pretty long. screw al dente! muahahaha!!!

when my shift ended, i was asked to go for the 2nd session of the routine breifing cum talk-cock session with all the service and merch staff. had one in the morning, and like all the other new staff in the past, i was asked to go out in front of everyone and intro myself, with harry the bald manager "interviewing" me. the morning session was pretty ok, jus a simple Q&A. the evening session was pretty embarrasing, cus i was made to stand on the chair while everyone say around me, like i was some circus animal or smthing. then JR, the evening shift manager asked me bout my hobbies, and upon hearing rock climbing, made me take off my top in front of the whole staff, while everyone else cheered on. man, dat was sooo embarassing. imagine taking out ur top in the middle of hard rock cafe =..=" it was pretty fun all in all, cus everyone was jus joking around, even the manager. cool. the session ended soon after, and when i went back to the merch shop, karen made me strip again in the back office. i was like, what the hell??!? but i did it anyway, cus i needed a change of clothes. i feel so haressed man! hahaha...

made a trip down to climbasia after work. was so tired i dozed off on the bus while standing and knocked my head on another girl's. hahaha... i wanted to laugh out loud, yet damn paiseh at the same time. lucky no one else saw, and she got off at the following stop. hope i wasn't the reason why she alighted! heh... reached climbasia around 8, and yazid showed me the ropes for most of the stuff i was suppose to do this weekend while the rest of the casia are not around. went for dinner at the nearby coffeeshop, and hung around till 11 to do the closing, as requested by halil so i could familiarise myself better, compare to jus telling me what to do. my brain was swelling from the many new things i had to learn today, but managed to settle the accounts part without much help. man i'm good!!! haha... finished up the closing "training" and rushed off. managed to catch the last 130 to amk, phew...

jus got back not long ago, jus gonna finish up with the blog, do my routine sets and catch up with my sleep. still wondering whether i shud get the rock pillar instead... *ponders

2005-08-24T00:18:00.000+08:00

Satisfaction

did 2 sets before going school today. lessons went pretty smoothly, so did the electronics test. lucky i had abit of tips, though i shouldn't. oh well...

went over to the rock gym after lessons, completed some routes before the meeting started. didn't intend to climb though. finished the rest of my sets on the finger board, finished some more routes and played around abit on the campus board. noticed some improvment. was able to do 1,3,5,7 on the 2 inch steps, heh... i was surprise i could actually complete so many routes despite doing my sets. so dat means it's taking effect! woohoo! feeling stronger!

i stayed around till 9 +, den helped to move the mattresses for tom's director visit to the gym, since i wun be able to help out tom, might as well lend a hand. wasn't quite happy so many people left jus as they were about to move mattresses though. lucky the matts were light. pulled most of the remaining peeps to dinner at clementi, cept for carene cuz she has some kind of a curfew, haha... had a good session, as usual. love hanging out with the sprc people man. yazid called to ask me to work at climbasia over the weekend, cuz the committee going over to tampin to climb. gonna work with eug n split the money, since they only need one person. can slack and work on my presentation too anyway, hehe... well, gotta stop here, still need to shave my head n jump into the shower before sleeping (haven't slept much since y'day)

2005-08-23T03:52:00.000+08:00

Flu bug

finished my set of 100s for the day. struggling with the last few. pain in my left shoulder. hope nuthing serious. jus bathed, now sipping a hot cup of liang cha, cus i feel a fever coming. better remedy it before it breaks out. gonna snooze abit den wake up to study for the electronics test. hope wun experience a blank mind like i did for the thermo test. wonder how i did for that one? hope still can get A. think there's a flu bug spreading around. so many people sick - me, hatta, irwan, eugene. wonder who else. hope everyone is healthy, cus havin a flu is shitty. (hey, it actually rhymed =D). sleep time

2005-08-23T00:47:00.000+08:00

Aches

something someone said to me today made my heart ache. life still goes on, put on a smile , put on a show... sold my thumb drive today, to some ex MM guy. pretty nice guy, cuz he actually came to collect it at sp, and he wasn't annoyed or anything that i din bring the warranty card.

went over to eug's place to collect the van after school. kinda tiring driving his van, cuz the clutch felt tight, and i had to tiptoe to push it all the way down (seat was alredy adjust all the way to the front). drove it home slowly and got the fridge down. the rope made it so much easier to carry alone. drove at a slow 70kph to chris' hall, lugged the fridge all the way up to her room. thin it was like 7-8 stories of stairs. lucky enough to survive the ordeal, but my arm ached like hell afterwords. picked up chris after her fencing training for dinner, and she was like complaining her thighs were getting bigger, haha... had some hokkien mee at boon lay market, drove her back to hall and sped off to return eug's van. managed to get to his place at hougang in half an hour! =p took a bus back, depositing the money i got today from the thumb drive n fridge(sold to chris for $50 so she could sell her small one to her fren) on the way home. got bout $300+ in my account now, and i'm feeling closer to getting my bike! woohoo!

feeling shitty from the flu i'm having - blocked nose, cough, sore throat =/ muscles are aching from the weighted pull-ups i did yesterday. haven done my set for today. jus blogging abit to let the food digest abit. gonna do today's set now

2005-08-21T18:59:00.000+08:00

Progression

did the 11-3 shift at al dente today, probably for the last time. only me n ricky were on shift, lucky not much customers. ricky gave me his bro's contact in chiang mai, so i could ask him for help or anything if i were ever to go there. strangely enough, mum said to go chiangmai when i called her after work. she wanted me to check out the travel fair at millenia walk. ate some choc gelato before i left.

the pull-ups i did last night didn't hav any effect on me. did 2 sets with ankle weights before i went work today. came home and did 2 more with weights, and 1 more awhile ago. weights weren't much (bout 1kg), but it feels so much more effective. least i'm feeling abit of a strain. gonna do 3 more before i go out later. shud be able to add another kilo to the weights end of next week. progress is slow, but i look foward to becoming stronger. 5 more sets to go for today. think i can add dead hanging to the routine.

2005-08-21T02:20:00.000+08:00

Blog Edit

did some changes to the clock. looks better now eh? used to have to squint a little. hatta says it's irritating, but then again, it's MY BLOG, NOT HIS!!! muahahaha!!! oh yeah... and i jus realised the clock is sooo national day! not that i'm a patriot, but red n white kinda gets along pretty well =)

2005-08-21T00:25:00.001+08:00

Resolution

gonna start my conditioning training. routine 1 : 100 pull-ups per day for this 2 weeks. gonna note my progress in a notebook.

*1:55am - finished my first set of 100s. feel good... although it was abit of a struggle in the first few sets. time to bathe n watch a good movie! the pretty roomie is attached. not unexpected tho... haha

2005-08-20T23:12:00.000+08:00

Rest & Relax

went eugene's place with hatta after supper at holland v with the rc gang. cooked mee n watched till the wee hours of the morning. eugene's pc sucks, cuz it hung a few times while we were watching the video, due to lack of virtual memory. Dells... *shake head. slept in the living room after chatting abit bout sprc. woke up at 1pm today and lazed around, even though me n hatta ("hatta & 1"-r.peters) were suppose to go pk at city hall, haha... den eugene's aunt who was also staying over got drunk on the bottle of XO on display, cuz of some family problems. caused quite a big commotion, such that 4 policemen came to check it out. the aunt's kid was pretty cute. played around with him in the room while things turned ugly n all outside. poor kid...

we left eug's place around 5, on the back of his 3rd aunt's lorry. drizzled abit, but lucky i had my(used-to-be-eug's) jacket on. heh... bought it for $30. (thanks eug! like it alot) hung around kovan abit, had a big bowl of curry noodles while hatta had a damn big pack of nasi lemak which he managed to finish. eug jus ate a couple of popiahs, cuz he was going to his grandma's place for dinner. headed for climbasia with hatta after. finally collected my pay for the belaying stint during national day, a cool 180 bucks! woohoo... (anasazi here i come!!!) we slacked at the place till like almost 10, playing with the cats (a kitten named coconut and a big tomcat named peanut), trying on salomon pants that were going on sale (reserved the last pair of putty coloured morph berms that was selling for $47. hatta bought the same one, m-size, heh... what can i say? the price was simply irresistable!), checking out the new rock pillar shoes and chilling out on the mattress. went off with yazid, who rides a red super 4 spec II. cool. he said i would need like $2.5 k to get a similar one, including downpayment, insurance n other stuff. hmm... time to starve! lucky i got that job at hardrock.

deposited my pay before heading home. feeling good with myself... cuz everything seems to be in control now. next target: get wheels!!! think can get my mum to sponsor a little, to speed things up, heh...

2005-08-19T00:11:00.000+08:00

Long Day

din sleep at all last night, went to school and dozed off to the thermo teacher's rambling. dat didn't help me to keep awake during the subsequent lessons, but i still managed to grasp what was going on. lunch as usual at canteen 4, endulging myself in a plate of pork chop noodles, with an extra serving of mee. yum...

headed for the rock gym after lunch and concussed on the mattress for the next few hours, with faint memories of the guys watching sponge bob, hatta sweeping up the gym, jinli sitting beside me and some of the guys doing some routes. finally woke up at around 3, dreading the feeling of having to go to work. climbed abit but wasn't really on form. finally got down to the autocad assignment, taking about half an hour jus to draw 2 circles and 5 lines (we weren't allowed to use rulers for this assignment -_-" ) was about to leave for work when i got a message from my a.manager that i could take the day off from work! woohoo!!! almost "jum for joyyy" (russell peters' hong kong comedian accent)

continued playing around some routes and screened russell peters for the climbers, heh... jana came with her pretty nie roomate and climbed a little. found her quite friendly, cus she said bye to me too when they left. not that i was into her, but as russell peters say, whatever makes u happy =) played some poi while irwan taught jinli some basic moves. she actually got the hang of the weave within like 15 mins. cool... and hatta was getting cheap thrills riding eugene's skate scooter hard and fast into the mattress. haha... think he getting high from lack of sleep. played some badminton with irwan and i ran into the net some point of time while trying to catch the shuttle. was a good session all in all, even though i got thrashed 4-11 by irwan, hee...

was 10 by the time i left the gym, almost 5 hours due the time i set for myself to go home and study. jus couldn't pull myself away from the gym. guess it's the only place now that can help me to relax, to forget everything else in that little haven of mine. man i better continue with the assignment. still got 2 tests tomorrow to revise for O.o" crapz...

2005-08-18T00:53:00.000+08:00

lonely but not alone

something i read on jan's blog struck a chord within me. it's about how someone was flipping thru her phonelist one day, and had a sneaking sensation that even though she had hundreds of names in her list, there were non whon she felt like talking to. well... something like that, can't really remember the exact words. thing is, that's exactly how i feel. now. my mobile's almost crammed full with names yet not one of them could fill this emptiness inside of me. maybe it's jus a passing moment, but it sure is keeping me awake.

was late for work today, had to rush there in a cab. an hour of work wasn't even enough to pay for the fare. least my a.manager was kind enough to sign an earlier time for me. hope sam calls me soon bout the hard rock job. getting pretty sick of the place, of the whole... thing. sick of working my ass off jus to get that measly 5.50 per hour. well, my mind's a total blank now... screwy

2005-08-17T01:34:00.000+08:00

A New Beginning...

which began months ago! and i finally recovered my blog! woohoo!!! check out the date of my last entry! man... it's been rotting in cyberspace eversince. well, so much has happened, but i jus cant be bothered to explain, not now at least. kinda brain dead now haha... anyway here's a preview of what i'm up to lately *wink

SPRC Sentosa Outing July 2005

2004-12-10T01:07:00.000+08:00

Random thoughts

why do we need sleep? whoever created us, or watever, didn't do such a good job on our ability to work continuously without resting. do you realise humans practically spent half of their lives sleeping? imagine all the things we could see, learn, do with all that time spent sleeping. the whole human race would be so much more efficient as a whole. why am i saying all these? cus my current work is screwing up my social life. well, not that i have any to speak of. but i could really use the time to meet up with old friends, explore, ride(not much chance either, with the recent unpredictable weather)

much has happened since exams ended. that aside, i've lead a trip for hall 9 to pelepah, overhauled my bike(cleaned every part, shorten cables, changed slicks) started work at my god-pa's place doing designs on metal cabinets and stuff. so many things to say, yet dunno where to begin. no mood to write too anyway, everything's sucky right now. feel like going for a ride in the wind...

2004-11-04T22:18:00.000+08:00

Exam Blues

*sigh... so many things i need to do, but gotta wait till exams are over. think i'm gonna flunk, again. been getting mental blocks lately, plus alot of headaches. why, oh why, jus when i was starting to pick myself up? maybe i should get a brain scan for any traces of a tumour. been such a long time since my last entry, and i feel so uncomfortable not writing for so long. well, not that i write everyday, but the uneasiness just lingers like a plague. Odd huh? got a paper tomorrow, and i can barely lift my eyelids. still got a huge load of formulae to cram. still deciding whether to go to the mass swap on sunday. need to get a pair of slicks, and i'm pretty sure i can lay my hands on a pair cheap. sheesh, this exam is really not here at the right time! then again, exams never are.

chels showed me this blog which belonged to the gf of andrew fang, a national bowler, triathelete and smthing else i can't quite remember. the blog was pretty well done, in a mature sort of way, the best i've seen so far. was quite surprised livejournal.com could actually churn out such impressive blogs. even though it's a paid account, the work is still pretty impressive, and that dude is so damn lucky, cuz they are what defines "a match made in heaven"! it's nice to have someone share your passion for something, even nicer when they share it with you for life.and hey, guess what, they are into CYCLING!!! YEAH!!! just looking at the 'grafs of the trip to ophir made me drool, well, literally speaking. got te urge to contact them and join them on their upcoming trips.

speaking of match made in heaven, i found out that eunice and da peng were married, few weeks ago. ahh... finally, and expected too. but i was totally disappointed having to find out from a mutual friend. to think i treated her like my own sis all these years :`( still trying to get over it. she didn't even bother to tell me, jeez... yup, moments like these always make me feel as invisible as ever. oh yes, my cousin got married over the weekend too. the dinner itself, held at some grand-looking country club, was, on the contrary, a screw-up in my opinion. lesson learnt : never use pirated cds on your wedding day march-in. the food sucked too, as well as the DJ and the MC. all in all, i guess everyone was glad when it was finally over. and back to the tiny island i call my home.

gonna catch a couple of hours of sleep, den wake up to cram the rest of the stuff in. wouldn't be surprised if i get a mental block tomorrow. guess it's really time to see the dean. fixed on the alium pedals jus now, in a bid to suppress my urge to get that makeover done. alot of tools are missing, like the wrench and hacksaw. hate it when things go missing in the house. why can't they put it back after use? dammit... better stop here. that's the problem of stopping too long, i've got so many things to say, yet so little time.

2004-10-13T10:16:00.000+08:00

Taxi

do you ever have one of those moments when you're in a cab, and suddenly, all the cars on the road seems to be slower than the cab, and you glance at the speedo, only to find the needle pointing lazily at the 100 mark. Maybe they tweaked the speedo, either that, or the whole nation suddenly decides to keep to the speed limit on the freeway, but that's pretty unlikely.

i had an inevitable unpleasant brush with a cab driver, although he sorta made it better by getting me to my destination without putting anyone into the hospital, me especially. I was late for my driving lesson, and it's one of those which i have to wake up at some ungodly hour to go for the lesson, and those that i can't miss no matter what, cuz doing so would result in a pre-christmas cash gift to the instructor with nothing in return.

Don't you jus hate it when cabbies keep asking you which route you want to take, even when you tell them to take the fastest route, or shortest route, and they tell you they're all the same. If it's all the same, then why ask? i mean, yeah, people complain that cabbies take them on a wild-goose chase to earn that extra buck. And so cabbies, in response to the complains, puts the decision in the hands of passengers with that million-dollar question of "Which route do you wanna take?", thus shifting the blame onto the passengers if they got stuck in a jam, passenger cursing, cabby gloating, or if they took a longer route worth an extra $5. And sometimes, THE question takes on an irritating note when asked one time too many. Moments like these makes your imagination run wild with the type of replies that you oh-so-wanna tell him straight in the face. "How the hell should i know?!! I'm not the cab driver here!", or "Do i look like a taxi driver to you?!"

Anyway, the cabby that took me did jus that, but all i could say was "i don't know", in reply to the upteen times he questioned me. You should have seen the way he drove. i felt like i was in the middle of a car-chase, doing 110km/h even on neighbourhood roads, following the cars in front so closely you could smell the paint off the boot if you were clinging onto the hood of the cab. Luckily, there were no accidents, and he got me to the place in good time. Late, but still good. Plus he didn't charge me that 20cents from the $11.20 cab fare. Oh, and did i mention he forgot to turn on the metre until like 5 minutes of insane driving? =D Don't you jus love it when that happens! *big grin*

2004-10-11T05:46:00.000+08:00

Houdini's Pet Hamster

once again, muffin has successfully escaped from her enclosure. How she did it, i don't know, but this is the 3rd escape already. Fortunately, she wasn't out for long before my brother spotted her coming out of his room, which is jus opposite mine. Now i've put 2 books over the top, and right this very moment, she's still up doing her nightly marathon on wheel. Think i should get her a bigger place soon, one with escape proof tops. It's no fun looking for a 2"x1" hamster in a big house, well, comparatively that is. Or i could jus get another acrylic sheet to put over the top, which would allow me to install more levels into her enclosure. hmm...

2004-10-10T09:34:00.000+08:00

Battle of Eternity

made these two out of a moment of inspiration and boredom, using the waterbomb balloons (that probably blow up to the size of fuji apples before they explode) rotting away in my drawer. I kind of had a moment of thought, where the guy in the movie(or girl for that matter, ain't trying to be a sexist here), has the small little devil and angel popping up beside his head, trying like hell (pardon the pun) to influence his decision making.

so that leaves me to think... who decides, or decided, in the first place, what's bad and what's not? maybe what we've always thought was good and right, was actually wrong in another world another time, dimension perhaps, only thing is it's part of our evolution. would murder still be murder if it was something that happened more commonly than it does? that it was just survival of the fittest? what would the world be like then? haha... yeah yeah, not very "logical" thoughts, but that's what solitude and extreme boredom does to a guy's mind. perhaps i should be more concerned about how to pass my exams -_-"

speaking of the bad, i met up with my "bro"(i'm his parents' god-son) last night, cuz he suspected this friend of his, whom i met on a few occasions, stole a watch, a limited edition G-shock titanium which cost a friggin' $500+, as well as his O2 palmtop phone, while he(the evil friend) was at his(the victimized bro) house. i accompanied him to the shop my bro bought his watch from to check whether the watch had a unique serial number. Turned out that it didn't. Kinda stupid huh? Even $30 toasters have their own serial numbers. People pay half a K and the manufacturers don't even fucking bother to engrave seriel numbers.

anyway, that watch had gone missing about a month ago, then my bro(okok, let's call him V) noticed this friend, J, wearing it. J said his "tang ge"(male elder cousin, paternal side, i think) had "given it to him"(exact words). Then a few days ago, when V asked to see the watch again, J said his cousin wanted it back, so he had returned it. V then searched J's bag while he was gone, and found it in the bag. He confronted J, who then said he didn't know the watch was still in the bag, explaining that he had asked his cousin to come and take the watch himself (how lame is that). Of course, V was unconvinced, so he jus took the watch without a word in front of J. Strangely enough, there was no protest from J. So V, with his receipt and warrenty card and all, went to enquire about the watch, only to find out his watch isn't such a limited edition after all.

after that, we went to fetch J, cuz V's dad wanted to see him. Knowing my god-father's temper, his tone was pretty... merciful for that session. J on the other hand, sounded abit too confident for my liking, saying he'll provide proof that the watch belonged to his "biao ge"(notice the change?). as for that 02 palmtop, it had gone missing last wednesday, during which J had slept over at V's place. The palm top was gone, the desktop charger was gone, and even the bluetooth earpiece was gone. We ruled out the maid, cuz she was quite new, and wouldn't have known much about these gadgets, at least not enough to know the charger and the earpiece were part of the palmtop. That leaves J, who was the only visitor during that week. How shitty can one get?

So what do you all think? guilty as charged? well, personally, i don't like theives, i don't like theives who steal from friends even more, and i didn't like J anyway, so i hope he ends up in jail trying to prevent his ass from getting poked. well, V is going to report to the police today if J still doesn't hand over the stuff, so we can only hope for the best. Screw J!!! hahaha!!!

2004-10-08T21:33:00.000+08:00

Funky Town

shaved my hair today. decided to giv myself a new look, jus for fun. Could always shave it off anytime i want. Been cutting my own hair since last year, when i bought one of those black shavers used in barber shops. Saved me quite alot, since i trim it like once a week or two. My hair's not the type you'd see on hair commercials. well, maybe only for the bad-hair-day scenes. so the only suitable style for me is short cropped. Always wanted to have longerhair though! ha... think i'll shave it off soon. kinda wierd walking around looking like a chicken, especially with the bird flu going on. duh...

2004-10-08T03:34:00.000+08:00

Puss In Boots

cute cat eh? saw it during our (BATA) recce trip to sungei yong. we were at the state of kluang, malaysia then, having fish for supper.

always did like cats, although i don't like being licked by them. Feels like someone running a grade 600 sandpaper on your skin. Cats are more independent and don't crave for as much attention as dogs do. Not that i have anything against that, i like dogs too, but not the small noisy yeppy type. I read something funny, about the differences between dogs and cats. Think it goes something like this : Feed a dog and it thinks you're God. Feed a cat and it thinks it's God. Haha...

2004-10-08T03:20:00.000+08:00

Somewhere Over The Rainbow

can't sleep, so i watched "You've Got Mail" from my private collection of movies. The song that accompanied the ending credits caught my attention. It wasn't a song that most people haven't heard before, but somehow, it triggered emotions and inspirations, revived determination and hope. Perhaps it's the magic of old classics. Lyrics, simple, yet provoking in a subtle sort of way.

Somewhere over the rainbow

Way up high

There's a land that I heard of

Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow

Skies are blue

And the dreams that you dare to dream

Really do come true

Some day I'll wish upon a star

And wake up where the clouds are far behind me

Where troubles melt like lemondrops

Away above the chimney tops

That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow

Bluebirds fly

Birds fly over the rainbow

Why then, oh why can't I?

Some day I'll wish upon a star

And wake up where the clouds are far behind me

Where troubles melt like lemondrops

Away above the chimney tops

That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow

Bluebirds fly

Birds fly over the rainbow

Why then, oh why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly

Beyond the rainbow

Why, oh why can't I?

I found this medley version of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" with "What A Wonderful World" in kazaa, by this girl named Aselin Debison. Never heard of her, but the song was great. I'm listening to it as i write this entry.

Nothing much to write about these days, no ideas, no inspirations, no mood. Met up with shervel on wednesday. She looked slimmer from the last time (which ironically, was also the first time) i saw her. Went over to her place to check on the connection problem she was having. Concluded that her computer had to be reformatted, so i had to go back another day. Fell asleep on her bed without realising, cuz i was too tired; i'd stayed up the night before. Woke up with a start around 10, and she'd just finish bathing. Took a bus home, slept all the way. Damn tired. Dunno why, but feeling rather lethargic these days. Maybe i should eat more normally...

Oh yes, muffin made another escape again, on the day i met up with shervel. Almost didn't go out because i was searching the whole damn house for her, in vain. Finally found her in the storeroom, right after i msged shervel i wasn't gonna meet her. haha... how dumb. Anyway, muffin is back in her... home. Shifted the yellow house and put a book over the open top so she couldn't climb out by standing on the roof of the yellow house. That was pretty smart of her, though her inability to judge heights and the suicidal nature of leaping off edges sorta evens it out. Hmm... dunno what to make of it

2004-10-03T19:33:00.000+08:00

Circle of Life

saw a dead cat lying in the middle of the road when i left for the race this morning. Thank god for the unrisen sun, which not only made whatever gore images the corpse presented blur, but also hid the colour of that big splat of wetness spreaded out from the mouth, like throwing a balloon of water on the floor and splashing it's contents in a general direction, like a crap piece of abstract art. i didn't need to see the colour to know it was blood. and it was still wet, which meant it kicked the ol' bucket not too long from when i saw it. Sad. Well, it's probably in a better place, no wackos to cut their tails off, no hungry stomach to fill with leftovers from someone's dinner plate. Wonder what comes after life. Then again, it's an answer everyone will find out for themselves someday, so why even bother?

2004-10-03T19:17:00.000+08:00

the teasers and the teased (part II)

jus came back from the race, so goddamn tired. Can't believe I actually managed to cycle home. The thong I was wearing(didn't want the shape of my crotch to show too much, if you know what i mean) inside the padded tights was literally tearing my ass apart. Not a nice way of finding out thongs and cycling don't come in pairs. Was gonna flag a cab at KAP, but got too lazy, and i had to save up the cash for that bike servicing i've been meaning to do since forever. Too bad we didn't win, think we were pretty close to the 6th team(only the first 6 teams had prizes). If i'm still alive by the time i finish this entry, think i'll go map out the total distance i covered, including the return trips from home.

anyway, back to the topic. Saw C jus now during the race, she was actually my team-mate. We were almost like strangers, except for that occasional exchange of remarks no longer that 5 words per sentence. i didn't crack any wise jokes, partly because of the promise i made to J, and partly cuz the feeling was lost on me, more or less permanently. kinda weird, but if that's the way things are gonna be, then i'll pretty much leave them as they are. i almost wanted to laugh, cuz ironically, i'm the second guy to fall out with her within a span of 2 or 3 months. it's almost turning into a regular thing for her. Well, not totally fall out to the point of walking past without even exchanging glances, but to the point where, conversation was only when necessary.

she msged me jus awhile ago, saying she felt bad that she was the reason why J and i quarreled, that she wasn't worth it. said she didn't want to lose us as friends, that she was rather sensitive lately, and something else that i coudn't remember. She went offline immediately after sending it, before i could say anything, (reminds me of those movie scenes where the guy shoves the envelope into the girl's hands and runs away before she could speak) so i had to email her to say everything was ok, to let bygones be.

Nonetheless, this incident has left scars on the friendship we used to share. On my part, i can't look her straight into the eye, and neither can she. Her presense held this forbidding essense, making the air that little bit more difficult to breathe, for the fear that even breathing would trigger off more unhappiness. crazy as in may seem, but that's how i feel. it's got nothing to do with her, probably jus only of my passing moments of queerness. things will probably ease off in time to come (most probably after i get my deserved sleep), cuz it might have been my half-cocked mind talking shit!

Then again, it brings me to wonder, how far can one go in teasing a person? For me, teasing is one of the ways to show how comfortable i am in his/her company. I don't overdo it usually, but then again, how far can one go? People might get hurt in the process, but bonds are usually strengthened with arms over shoulders and apologies made. I guess there's a thin line between teasing and mocking. Go too far and it becomes mockery, which is the point where the damage is beyond repair with mere apologies, meaningless ones at that. Did i cross the line? i didn't think so... but somehow, somewhere, the order of things got mixed up, where just simply teasing hurt more than it should. Hope things turn out better... gonna stop here, cant think on an empty stomach... in addition to the busted legs and lack of sleep, ugh...

2004-10-03T06:07:00.000+08:00

the teasers and the teased (part I)

i poked fun of a friend (let's call her C) when she'd just risen from her slumber. unwittingly, and unknowingly, i pissed her off, and din even get to apologise before she put up that all-powerful "Busy" status on msn. Then a couple of hours before, a good friend of hers(J) skewered me literally for pissing her off, saying i shud've sensed the dark clouds gathering over her head (over msn??!?), that i don't mean it when i said sorry, reason being i'm still making the newly perceived sin of making fun of C.

Somehow, that kinda pissed me off that teeny weeny bit, and for a moment, i could picture a prisoner on deathroll with the noose around his neck, with a sandbag that stinks of the past few dead guys they hung prior to him, trying to scream "NOT GUILTY!" through the duct tape over his motuh, and no one really giving a shit 'cuz the jury said he was guilty. didn't know what to say to that. anyway, part of the conversation were as follows (words are not exact):

me: ok fine, so i won't talk to her anymore, cuz anything that comes out will be to poke fun of her

J: so now you wanna get angry

me: angry, i'm not angry. u already said i don't mean what i say

J: cuz that time u said sorry, but you're still doing it! you must show you're sorry with actions right?

me: yah, so now my action is, don't talk to her (stubborn genes, cant help it)

J: great. then why do u like to make fun of her so much?

me: ok, only me doing it is such a crime

J: i didn't say that, but i believe you scolded her for no reason

me : (flabbergasted) i didn't!!!
so now my teasing her becomes scolding

J: she said you did, although i don't remember when

me: you know, this is so like that time you accused me of being angry(in mcn) when i wasn't

J: fine, if you say so. whatever i say won't go into your ears

me: same to you, whatever C says counts, whatever i say is meaningless, even my apology

J: hey, she's a nice-tempered girl, she won't lose her temper for nothing ok. you must've said something
hurting without realising

me: ok fine, i scolded her, i made her angry, i hurt her, i said sorry to you, you said tell it to her, i did that, u
say i don't mean it, so what now?

J: now you're not happy (she meant to continue the list of events i made, but i didn't catch it then)

me: hullo, you said i don't mean my saying sorry, what do you expect me to do, celebrate?

then she went on to explain her continuing the events list in reply to my question, but i still didn't get what she was trying to say.

J: just stop making fun of her

me: ok fine

(to be continued... gotta set off for that damn race. hope i don't fall asleep riding on the road)

2004-10-01T23:19:00.000+08:00

Crossroads

currently studying (actually, slacking would be a better word) electrical electronics engineering at the U. not the most interesting subjest on earth, I must admit, after wasting 2.5 years of my aimless, pathetic adulthood on it. But then again, I din really have much of a choice.

Considering the odds of dropping out now, i'm only 'O' level qualified, which is about the same quality as recycled crap paper these days, with schools allowing their students to skip the not-so-big Os and move on to the As, which is even more worthless, considering it's jus a ticket to the next rung of the academic step ladder. i could always take on a job, and start another course, but then again, that would be another 4 years, and that would make me 27 by the time i grad, by then which alot of the femmes manufactured in the same year as i am would be married, maybe with kids. Pathetic. Or maybe i could sell my soul to the devil in the army, earn a few K per month for the next 4 years, save enough for a dowry, work for my god-father, take up a course, and grad at the age of 32. Not much better than the first one. Then again, there's always the choice of taking up a teaching course, but i don't really see myself trying to cram maths formulas into pesky children's brains already full of modern day crap which turns them into smartasses with no respect for the older generation.

Which brings me back to where i am now, stuck with the path i am shown, or i condemned myself to years ago. Not willing to face the reality, yet unable to hide from the truth, the pain is almost... excruciating, literally speaking of course. yeah, everyone's got their own problems, but hey, cant i jus bitch about mine? well, gonna start mugging anyhow. even quit playing gunbound for good. somehow, it came to a point where the game was jus... meaningless. hmm.. all these talk is pretty depressing. shall end it here. childrens' day is almost over. lucky twerps, gotta long weekend...

2004-09-29T01:11:00.000+08:00

Muffin

my hamster, muffin. ain't she adorable? it's a winterwhite, sapphire breed, got it from some dude giving her away, among others, over the net.

made a cage, or watever u call it, for it out of clear acrylic sheets i bought from art friend. least it doesn't look like the conventional, boring cages they sell in pet shops! (no offense jess! =D)

kinda nice having a pet around the place, keeps me company when people don't! haha...

2004-09-29T01:02:00.000+08:00

stupid mistake

did a stupid thing jus now. showed the blog to chels, but somehow, while changing the code for the background music, i stupidly deleted away the remaining half of the whole html code(still dunno how it happened), and saved the changes, so the blog was kinda screwed. actually, "kinda" was an understatement for my blog... it was like, "OMFG!!!". hair-tearing, finger chewing, kind of screwed. hah... i wanted to put the blame on chels, and i did say it, but i was really kidding. but then, i'm still feeling bad for even saying it out. sorry bout it, chels! getting late, gotta sleep. still got that 6:45AM driving lesson later, which is like, 6 hours from now!! jeez...

2004-09-28T21:27:00.000+08:00

first entry

finally got this blog up and running, which i created months back, but didn't really did anything to it, cuz of all the html stuff. din understand a single thing. kinda did alot of trial and error, pasting scripts i "stole" from websites, blogs, etc... hey... it wasn't as easy as you think ok! haha!! well, not that anyone's gonna read my blog, not at the moment at least! =p gonna make a few tweaks here and there before i wow the world! heh... well, shall update another day, all the java scripts are giving me a headache... but the music sorta calms me, invokes feelings... inspirations... and sleepiness!!! Hah!! ZZzzzzzzzz.....